UGA Premature EjacuBOWLation

At one point in time, you could buy a 2009 Peach Bowl (vs. V-Tech) T-Shirt on the University of Georgia's bookstore web-site. LINK

Press Hop Remix

The Sun Maid Raisin Girl is Sexy

I like raisins. They are delicious. But now, I really like them.

Sun Maid has modernized the infamous girl that has graced the box for generations and turned her into sexy grape picker instead of a homely grape picker. The new girl will only be used in advertisements and the image of the girl on the box will stay the same. Tiger Woods released a statement on Thursday saying he has already banged her, stated how sorry he was, and that the issue is a personal matter between he, his family, and the dried fruit mascot.

Why Tiger Should Be Made An Example Through Media Scrunity

It is amazing how someone becomes apologetic when they are caught doing something morally perverse.

On his website, Eldrick Tont Woods stated that he “will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology.” He also pleaded for his privacy: “But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy…for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one's own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions.”

I’m sorry Tont, I mean “Tiger,” but when you are on the television pimping Gatorade and Gillette razors, your right to privacy went out the window. Up until last Friday morning at around 2 a.m., (when you drove your Cadillac Escalade (big pimpin’!) into a fire hydrant and then a tree while your psycho hottie wife busted out the back window, pissed off because she found out you were banging a hotter twenty-something cocktail waitress, or at least that’s the story I like to think happened), you were doing a good job keeping your personal life out of the paper and tabloids.

There are a couple of rules people should follow in order to keep their personal lives private:

Rule #1: Do not take nude pictures of yourself: They will end up on the internet.
Rule #2: Do not make a home sex video: It will definitely make its way onto the internet
And Rule #3 is for you Eldrick Tont “Tiger” Woods: Do not send suggestive text messages: They will end up on the internet. Examples: “I will wear you out...when was the last time you got (bleeped)?” and “Send me something very naughty…Go to the bathroom and take (a picture).” (Source) Dude, Seriously! You were asking for this shit storm to come your way. She wants money man. For crying out loud, this bitch was on a VH1 television show called "Tool Academy!" Giant warning signs should have gone off telling you not to put it in, but you did for almost 3 years. *sigh*

I will admit that in the grand scheme of life what Tiger does on his own time is completely up to him, but for Tiger to expect people to not run him through the mud over this is completely absurd. He has put his name on video games, sports drinks, golf shit, and tons of other crap, making millions of dollars, being one of the greatest golfers ever, what do you expect?

Cheating is something that is frowned upon, whether it is in sport or in marriage. Sure, it happens a lot; many men do run around on their wives. That is not a reason to give Tiger a pass on this shit! Make an example of him. Sure, maybe it isn’t any of our business but when I have to pay ten fucking dollars for a damn razor because Gillette has got to pay your ass, you have made it my business damn-it!

Tiger Woods

source: Orlando Sentinel

Univ. of Florida DE Carlos Dunlap Arrested

At 3:25 in the morning, Florida Gator defensive end Carlos Dunlap was found asleep behind the wheel of his car at a traffic light. According to Gainesville Police, an officer was called to the scene to investigate a reckless driver. The officer found the car parked at a traffic light and not moving when the light was green. The officer approached the car and tapped on the window. Dunlap would open his eyes, say "Mom, five more minutes and I'll get up," and go back to sleep. Dunlap was arrested for DUI and later released.

In a statement released by Dunlap through his lawyer, Dunlap has defended his actions saying "Can't a brother just take a nap?" Dunlap didn't realize the severity of sleeping at the wheel in the middle of the road while drunk. In his statement he claims "I thought it was in the best interest of myself, my team, and all those around me that, while completely hammered, I drive to a safe spot at an intersection where everyone could see me and sleep off the Hennessey."

To press early in this morning, Corch Urban Meyer has acknowledged the severity of Dunlap's actions. "We will not put up with these type of actions on this team."

Asked about what type of punishment Dunlap could receive, Meyer said sternly "He will be suspended for the National Anthem before the SEC Championship game. What could be a more stern punishment than taking away the privilege of saluting the flag of the greatest country in the world."

Meyer was also asked why he believed Dunlap was out past 3 o'clock in the morning the week of the biggest game of the season: "He's sad about Timmy [Tim Tebow]. He realized this is the second to last game he will ever play with Tim and that after Tim leaves, we're all fucked."

Nick Saban, coach of the Alabama Crimson Elephants, Florida's opponents in the championship game this Saturday, has also commented on Dunlap's situation. When asked what his thoughts were when he first heard of Dunlap's arrest, he smirked and said, "What a dumb ass."

We will have more on Carlos Dunlap and Florida and information comes in.

Florida State...

...is godawful

My Screw Up the BCS Scenario

Last night Auburn, unfortunately, couldn't hang on and beat 'Bama. Led by, of all people, Greg McElroy, the Elephants roll tided down field and scored a TD, leaving the Tigers/Plainsmen/War Eagle with a little over a minute left to play. In a perfect world, Cody Burns would have driven down the field and scored a TD to win the game but, alas, horrible clock management left Auburn to attempt a Hail Mary, it was batted down, and Alabama won the game.

So, my last bastion of hope lies in the oh-so pathetic Florida State University to upstate Florida in the swamp.

Take a trip into my College Football Wonderland....

FSU beats Florida.
Florida beats 'Bama in the SEC Championship game.
Nebraska upsets Texas in the Big 12 Championship game.

TCU vs. Cincinatti in the BCS National Championship game. (Not Boise State. Lets forget they exist)

Why not? Why cant we have the little guy in the Big Game? Their are no losers in this situation (except Florida, Alabama, and Texas, but they'll get over it). I'm sure the BCS committee would crap in their expensive pleated pants if this happened but I would bet that both schools would bring in a lot of people to game, and why not? It's not every season that national media outlets and small time bloggers talk about Texas Christian University and the University of Cincinnati as football powerhouses playing to be the best of the best in D-1 college football. Fans of both schools would eat up the atmosphere of the event and I believe that fans, like myself, would love nothing more to watch both these schools play their hearts out in one last game.

Of course, I want a better system of choosing the national champion than a poll that involves a computer, but it's what we have now so I guess I will have to live with it.

I do have my own idea of how to fix college football, and I will write it up soon. Enjoy Gameday!

Quick Tiger Woods Accident Update

So, Tiger was involved with in an accident in which he hit a fire hydrant, a tree, and was seriously injured, or not...in all honesty only he and his hottie wife know what happened. Apparently she pulled him out of the car by using a golf club (hopefully a driver because that would double the already thick irony) to bust a window out.

What I want to know is: What objects would other athletes wives use to break a car window out in order to pull out their multimillion dollar husbands out of? Bob Griese says Juan Pablo Montoya's wife would use a taco.

Tiger Woods Car Accident a Bit Suspicious

Tiger Woods was in a car accident today. He's ok, but the details are a bit weird. "The Florida Highway Patrol said the world’s top golfer hit the hydrant and then a tree after pulling out of his driveway in his 2009 Cadillac SUV." It was at 2:25 am and alcohol apparently wasn't involved. I also heard on the radio that he wasn't driving over 33 mph. How does one go about hitting a fire hydrant and then a tree at 33 mph? I also heard on the radio charges are pending, but unclear whether or not they charges are against Tiger or not.

PETA suggests Robo-Uga

PETA, the crazy organization dedicated to animal rights, has suggested the University of Georgia replace their famed, overweight, and dead mascot Uga in favor of a robot dog. I guess it wouldn't be that hard to make a robot bulldog that sits on ice all day, but the idea of it is kind of creepy. Could you imagine what might happen when SkyNet goes online and the robots take over the world? The T-1000 would have a pet! and we cannot let that happen.

SEC Looking into Official Wally Hough

SEC director of officiating Rogers Redding has reportedly brought to commissioner Mike Slive's attention about umpire Wally Hough about questionable calls he has made in two Tennessee football games against Vanderbilt and Alabama., according to Rivals/Vol Quest. Hough is a former University of Florida lineman and once president of the Putnam County Gator Club. In the game at Alabama the Vols were flagged 9 times to the Elephants 1. In the Vanderbilt game, Hough was the ref that threw the flag on Vol DB Anthony Anderson for a phantom pass interference. The play resulted in a UT interception but was nullified by the obviously made-up flag.

Kiffin's comments on the Vandy game penalties: "Then we get a turnover and there’s a pass interference on it. Then we fake a punt and make it and get a hold that’s past the first down. Then we stop them and they punt, we’re in punt-safe and they call us for hitting the center. I asked the refs if they had called that this year and that was the first time they had called it. It was good to see those guys. We’ve had that crew before." (Go Vols Xtra)

Tony Dungy to head a Player's Advisory Committee

This is a couple of days old but I thought of it just now and had to post something about it:

The NFL has appointed Tony Dungy to head a Player's Advisory Committee "Dungy will lead a new NFL player advisory forum that will meet with players about league policies, programs and issues that affect their lives on and off the field. Those subjects will include player health and safety, personal conduct, game rules and procedures, career transition and player development...[commissioner Roger] Goodell will attend the meetings, and union officials have been invited to attend. Pro Bowl players Kurt Warner , Ray Lewis and Brian Dawkins are among the players who will take part in the meetings." Ray Lewis? Is he going to teach players how to stab somebody to death and get away with it?

I hope somebody at these meeting will finally ask Tony Dungy two questions: 1) "Hey Coach Dungy, why was Jon Gruden able to win a Super Bowl in Tampa after you were fired?" 2) "Hey, Coach Dungy, would you have won a Super Bowl if Peyton Manning wasn't your quarterback?"

Les Miles Calls for the Spike? You be the judge!

Les Miles says he didn't tell Jefferson to spike the ball to stop the clock. The video shows him doing a "spike" gesture but Miles says he was signaling that the receiver who caught the ball, Terrance Toliver, was down after he caught the ball. In the video, you can clearly see that one of Ole Miss' defensive backs comes up with ball at the end of the play and then Miles gives the "spike" signal which was actually a "he's down" signal. Doesn't matter though. Les lost the game with poor clock management on the previous play which lost the game.

The NFL OT Rule: It Should Change

Several games went to overtime this past weekend, Pittsburgh @ Kansas City and Atlanta @ New York Giants. The Steeler's won their coin toss but had to punt the ball and the Chiefs scored on their drive. In the other OT game, the Giants won their coin toss, scored, and the Falcons never touched the ball because of the overtime rules. It’s sad, and I am not just saying that because I'm a life-time Falcons fan.

On PTI today Ron Jaworski gave the Falcons some advice to win, "Play some defense." Oh rly? The Falcons scored 4 times in the second half and the Giants only twice, outscoring them 24-14. Maybe the Giants should have played some defense to not end up in Overtime. That’s not the point. The point is that the Falcons, playing excellent in the second half to force overtime, were not given a chance to win the game.

This scenery happens way too much; A great game goes to extra time and the team that wins the coin toss scores in a non-dramatic easy field goal fashion to win the game and the opposing teams offense sits on the sideline and never sees the field again. Totally fair! It is almost like the 7 on 7 backyard game when everybody agrees that the next team to score wins because no one really actually knows that the score of the game is anyways: Totally stupid and makes the rest of the game before that completely meaningless.

My solution: Coin toss, kick-off, and each team gets possession the ball at least once, that way the team that receives the kick is not almost guaranteed a win. In this scenario, would you not want to kick the ball so after the opposing teams first possession you know what you have to do, akin to the college rules? After each team’s first possession a) if one team is winning, game over, b) if the teams tie, then it goes to sudden death rules (first to score wins).

I understand the justification of not changing the OT rules because "you’re supposed to win the game in the first 60 minutes," but if that is the reason, then why have overtime anyways. Just tie the game. The point is, the NFL is so concerned about getting calls on the field right (like instant replay that extends the length of game and sometimes isn’t used correctly) you would think they would realize that the college game was on to something when they changed the OT rules a few years back to allow both teams a chance to win.

First Post

This is the first post for my new blog, Kids on Leashes. Why the name? Why not? Do you not laugh when you see a young child being walked around the grocery store like a dog in the park?